omg. totally woke up 2 hours late today. only made half the pizzas i normally make for school lunch. anddd i totally got my period and my stomach was like DECAYING on me during the last 2 hours.. i even texted neal asking if i could go home early and he let me.. thank god.. i left by 430 and i was only scheduled till 515 anyway.. amanda can hold it down now. shes good. lol. my stomach feeels a little better i got paid like 600 something i dont remember its in my car. i should go cash it but im lazy. the date on it says 5/21 anyway and i think if i cash it too early its bad or something? idk

i bought some stuff from fye online because i have a credit card and my life is awesome

im still pretty tired of amanda. i was mentioning to her last night how when i text her every morning she says “ugh” and its annoying and she should go back to saying “yay” and SOMEHOW it really got to the point where she said “well maybe you should stop being my friend” and i was just like ….what the hell are you being serious? whatever. my new plan now is im gonna avoid hanging out with her as much as possible. i’ll still give her rides and shit to and from work when she needs it but im gonna make every excuse possible to just go home.. i fuckin wanna stop smoking so much. or at all. i caved in again.. because me and angel stopped talking again.. but then i texted her and now we are again… idk…i just wanna make things right between us so bad. i have that chance, i do. i gotta stop smoking. i have so much willpower now. fuck everything seriously.

omg so one of the things i bought from fye is this movie called The Birdcage and its THEEEEEEEE BEST movie EVER. soo funny. i fucking love it. that guy from jumanji is in it and theres just mad trannys, it kinda reminds me of rocky horror but without all the gay singing. and its just the besssttt. is the shit too. LOL

im a happy person and amanda can go sink in her own damn hole of misery. fuck her shit.

oh we found this apartment and actually looked around in it with the owner and everything, its only $675 a month and its mad cute and we’d figured we could share a bedroom. but after a 2nd thought, besides the fact that she hasnt brought it back up to talk about with me, cuz im totally not going to, i dont trust amanda. i realized that. do i trust her to pay her half of the rent every month? Not at all. i can totally imagine her pulling some shit like, because of the fact i get paid $2 more than her, she might try saying ‘oh you get paid more, you should pay more of the bill’ but fuck that, that is NOT how it works. i just dont trust her. she bitches that shes broke all the time but when it comes to weed and cigarettes, her money is limitless. and the only reason we havent gotten drunk in weeks is because im not paying for shit no more. i mean i understand, i do get paid more, and she has fines and owes people money but thats not my fucking problem. i’ll pay for most things but not for EVERYTHING. im tired of feeling so fucking used. fuck that.

my goal in life is to not live like the way she does. sure i get pissed and upset and i hate everybody and everything but i’d like to move on eventually. she just doesnt care. and pretty soon if she doesnt stop i wont either.

but she’ll be oh so used to that…

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