i havent slept yet

And im just having the worst time right now… im just freaked out and i cant understand why… at first i thought im being emotional/moody cuz im on my period and now i feel like i’m straight up withdrawaling or something… i cant figure out whats real anymore. i cant figure out whats real and whats not real. i’ve been thinking horrible thoughts the past 2 hours and i’m still wide awake right now. My head hurts and every way i lay down is too uncomfortable to fall asleep with.

i cant figure out whats real anymore. i want everything to feel real. my life is good right now. but what if what makes it good isnt real? i’m so lost. i feel too much. and i cant feel anything. how does that make sense?? ugh. how am i 19 years old already? what the fuck? i need angel to wake up. sometimes i slap myself and i dont know if i want that to do anything but it doesnt do much but hurt my face for a few seconds. i need to fucking feel something sometimes.

i cant fucking sleep. i gotta close again tonight i need to sleep today. ugh. my head hurts and im so uncomfortable.

i want things to be real. i kind of want to smoke a blunt right now, thatd help me calm down so much and maybe help me sleep but i’m so goddamn UGH.

fuck whatever.

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