Alisa threw me in the middle of a fire she was having with Chelsea and ley. She literally woke me up from being dead asleep and threw me in a fire while I was still unconscious and oblivious to the reality of the situation and only aware of her own anger.

I am the fucking one burning now.

I repeatedly feel in all my friendships that I am being used, taken advantage of, lied to, stolen from, completely fucked over,

And yet I can honestly say I never do the above to anyone. I give so much. So fucking much. How is it that I can be so selfless and be such an asshole at the same time?

Yes I have an anger problem. I can’t control my words. Is that why Alisa got me instead of handling the situation herself like a grown adult? Probably. Like she fucking said “I didn’t want to be mean to the people I love” so for some fucking reason, I had to be?? EVERYONE. Every fucking one of the people I associate with ALLLL claim to have mental disorders and every fucking one uses their “mental disorder” (or as I like to put, shitty attitude) as an excuse for me and Caitlyn to pity them.

I’m fucking done. I do NOT care anymore, I can NOT care anymore. I need to fucking care about me. I’m the only fucking one getting fucking hurt it seems. Fuck anyone and everyone (except Caitlyn because she completes the other half of me)

Alisa had the nerve to ask when it was only me, her and Cody “so who’s buying groceries because Cody did last time” ( Cody told me a few minutes later that he didn’t mind buying groceries at all so he doesn’t know why Alisa had to speak for him like that) and I had just paid rent, electric, water, not to mention I also pay internet, my own car insurance and I have 8 animals to buy food, litter and carpet cleaner for. So hmmm… I think I’ll pass on groceries for you children.

She also is already asking for a birthday present….. (We both were born May 22) Oh my god. Every time I get drunk with her, she’s pretty goddamn fucking obnoxious and she kills my buzz. I would absolutely enjoy NOT spending my birthday with her

I’m ready to die, or kill .

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