it’s so nice being criticized from someone you’re asking advice from. so nice.
but i’m content now, because i found a way to make my site private. all this time i thought this website was all about getting views but after looking through some buttons (out of the million there are) i found a way to make it private. i am so relieved. for the most part, when people read my entries, it seems like it’s just so they can use it against me in the future. except caitlyn, caitlyn hasn’t judged me yet. she’s more on the caring and helpful side. obviously i’m not fucking perfect. but NO ONE is in this world so i don’t need to be treated like an asshole. i actually acknowledge my mistakes. i write these entries because it’s a fucking outlet. to take some of the stuff on here seriously is just outrageous. i have poems about killing people and killing myself, obviously none of those things have happened. it’s a fucking outlet. as for the dumb shit i actually do, well it’s just great that i find out that they get used against me. when this blog/diary is supposed to be a safe place where i can talk about my life and feelings.
god no wonder so many famous people do drugs. having your life judged from someone who doesn’t even know you in real life is abhorrent
and seriously why would you talk down to someone who’s fucking looking for help? do you feel better about yourself now? i wish you would just tell me to fuck off.
everyone else so far (like 2 people lol) just fucking judges me. it’s not like i’m asking anyone to care, i just figured if anyone actually bothered to go out of their way to read anything i write, it’s because they do. but i don’t know anymore.
i don’t care anymore. as long as i have one person who does. caitlyn is all i need.
maybe i should pack another bowl. one was for the stress and another for jasmine.