there’s this article with pictures about this guy’s wife getting cancer. the article is like 2 years old and she died 4 years ago

it just ridiculously pisses me off that chemo is even a fucking option. it shouldn’t be. it’s worse than the actual cancer itself. it doesn’t fucking save lives. it kills people.

even though the article says how this was the process of cancer, it’s not. it’s the process of fucking chemo.

so many people suffer through chemo instead of trying cannabis oil. so many people are uneducated about this much safer, life saving option.

it pisses me off so much. when will this come to light.?

when my mom was still alive with cancer, my aunt told me how she told my mom that she should try smoking weed as a pain relief. it helps. my mom didn’t want to.

i don’t fucking know why, probably because then i would’ve found out she was doing it maybe (i was a smoker by this time too) and weed has this AWFUL fucking stigma attached to it, like it’s some immature worthless drug. she probably didn’t want to be a bad influence to me? i don’t know exactly, i’m just taking a guess.

i would do anything to save her life now, it’s not fair how young and ignorant i was.

but it’s over and done with. i have to live with this for the rest of my life. i did not make a single thing easier on her whatsoever. her last memory of me was failing and causing trouble at school. i will never forget her telling my dad with me in the other room that she wished she would die already. you never want to hear someone so important to you say that.

she will always be so important to me but she’s not here anymore.

i can only hope she sees me now. i can only hope. but i fucking hate the idea of hope being false. i would do anything to work in the medical marijuana industry, or at a dispensary. ANYTHING.

i’m still very very interested in this and i haven’t forgotten about it

it’s a few hundred dollars and i just missed one for cincinnati. 😦

ugh… i need to get my life in order. i need to fucking write EVERYDAY.

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