I don’t understand what Caitlyn’s deal is with Eric, the one person that’s lived here that actually fucking feels bad for what he’s done and wants to give us money back. He’s given $100 so far and said he’ll give $50 from his last check. He’s going to rehab soon and he said he’ll be gone for 45-60 days but they can help line up a job for him or something. He constantly stresses that he doesn’t have the heart to fuck us over like this after we gave him a place to stay when he was so miserable at home.
Honestly I almost feel like I got fucked over a little bit worse than Caitlyn did these past few months. I mean everyone who moved in here were all her friends. She knew them more than me. All of them, I repeat, all. of. them. hate me now more than her. Except Cody, he might hate us equally. But Eric is the one fucking person who feels bad and is showing it.
I don’t give a fuck about anybody anymore. Honestly we might as well have literally been a type of foster home the past few months. It has completely wrecked my mind state. I really don’t feel like I can find truth in anyone anymore.
But Eric, I hope, might prove that wrong.
I’m happy I saw some familiar faces in NY, I’m also happy I saw Helenna, Sammy and Belinda. Sammy’s daughter Charlie, Nicole’s daughter Riley and Ginger’s son Riley. Yup there’s really two Rileys and two different genders lol Beth also has a son and a baby on the way. Pinkies had a couple kids I think, I don’t remember, I haven’t seen her since Jasmine died and Renee just had a baby.
It’s crazy but I’m happy to know they’re growing up and being adults and stuff. The stupid people that have been in my life the past few months really make me appreciate the people I know in New York so so so much more.
Whatever. I really hope the rest of the year gets easier. I like getting high, it’s nicer than getting drunk. I can evaluate myself more high.
Caitlyn’s sleeping. I tried talking to her but she just didn’t answer.