Having a sweet ass fire right now. I went to Candys around 1 to get wood and I was literally there for 3 hours just hanging out with her. She’s my only friend honestly lol. I love how she calls me sometimes just to rant and vent away. She really trusts me and it’s awesome.

There’s another 30 day writing challenge thing from Write Yourself Alive and I already paid to partake in it lol it seemed okay last time, I didn’t fully put myself into it as much as I could have though I think. 

Our bathtub works again (sort of but pretty much) thanks to a motherfucking plunger and I feel so stupid but I’m so happy now. Like having a tub/shower is such a goddamn luxury like wow. I was sooo happy last night. I worked a 15 hour shift yesterday and I took a bath with grav hits and everything and I was just so elated. I LOVE BASIC HYGIENE.

Caitlyn and I got into a huge fight a couple nights ago because I haven’t been fucking her, like at all, in over a month probably and I mean I also haven’t had our own personal shower since after kala and Racheal moved out because it’s all fucked up (but a plunger makes it work a ton better now) and I’m now a little over $3500 in debt because of my wisdom teeth and going crazy on my credit card (there’s 5 concerts coming up plus I just went to two warped tours.. alcohol can get expensive) and I’ve never been in debt before and I’ve kinda been suffering through a lot of drama from people for MONTHS, AND IVE BEEN A LITTLE BIT STRESSED OUT OR SOMETHING and I think it may have impacted a sex drive I possibly have.

But we’re good now, we actually had sex two nights in a row now. Great sex. I don’t know what helped me feel able to be intimate again, but yeah.

I started therapy July 5th and since then I’ve been telling my therapist about EVERYTHING and all I can say is it really feels good to know someone is fucking there for you. I mean sure I have people that give a fuck about my existence but it’s not the same, I mean it’s like when candy calls me just to rant and vent. It’s nice being able to get shit out of the prison of your mind and heart. Letting go has never felt so much easier in my life. I unfortunately am unable to give professional feedback but I am pretty sure I have some decent common sense. Being able to talk to my therapist and getting professional feedback is incredible. It almost makes me think that every person in this world could benefit from therapy. I can’t believe how much more peaceful I feel now.

My fire needs more wood bye

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