Off work today.. Spent last night at the misfits apartment..

When I walked in, Tia and Erica were in the middle of conversation, Erica was venting about her moms last months. It was honestly amazing to hear her talk about it. I thought her mom died only last month but it was actually 1 year ago last month. It wasn’t long at all and she still gets hit hard about it. I remember when it used to sting me too. 

She died of a bunch of shit but I think it was ultimately cancer, and it was horrible because she literally watched her mom get her limbs amputated and her organs shut down. My mom never had anything amputated but like Erica’s mom, my moms organs stopped working one by one.

Tia’s moms death is worse than both of me and Erica’s. Erica had a good relationship with her mom before she died, I had a decent relationship with my mom (we both coped the best way we could) but Tia and her mom had a really bad relationship and Tia hardcore blames herself and she told me last night she has never had a good dream about her mom, they’re always nightmares although she does suffer from night terrors as it is but it’s horrible because the good dreams I’ve had about my mom seriously I’ll never forget them, they mean so much, and to know Tia has had nothing but nightmares is devastating. Tia’s mom died 6 years ago and my mom died 7 years ago but me and Tia both lost our moms when we were 17, it’s sorta bizarre.

I don’t fully know how Tia’s mom died but I’m happy Tia does talk about it even a little.

When your parent dies, you never let go of it. You just don’t. Erica is 21 years old and both of her parents are gone already. Tia’s dad is still around but not really.

I’m so fucking lucky to have my dad and grandma and even some of my aunts and cousins. I’m blessed as fuck.

Erica worked at hothead burritos today from 11-4 and Tia works at hothead 4-11. I gave them both rides today. They both just started there pretty much and they both love it so that’s awesome

Angela hasn’t been home in a few days, she doesn’t work at all right now. I think Angela’s dad helps pay majority of the bills. He spent the weekend like last weekend but I think his job makes him travel or something. Apparently he was on acid when he was home, I don’t know. I don’t know who Angela’s mom is.

I wonder if mine, Erica and Tia’s moms are all friends in another life or something haha sounds dumb af but idk. I still like to believe my mom is alive in some way. 

Like I said, when a parent dies, there’s no letting go.

Erica and Kenzie and people are going to the masque tonight like every tuesday. I open tomorrow. Tia is going to be alone at the apartment since she works till 11. Everyone doesn’t get home till 4-5 in the morning.

I just mayyyy keep her company, maybe a little idk. 

We haven had sex yet or anything and she’s REALLY making me wait it out which is cool but crazy because I’m typically an impatient as fuck person but we get super intimate and close anyway so it’s pretty much the same thing hah

Tia was complaining earlier to me how Erica and Angela never clean, the place is definitely pretty messy, like if I lived there, I definitely would be a bitch like I was at maple oaks with Caitlyn. There’s 4 cats. 3 are Erica’s and 1 is Angela’s. There’s only 1 litter box and no one cleans it. Erica got really freaked last night when one of the cats shit on her towel. Tia had a pretty good point that her towel shouldn’t have been on the floor anyway. It just sucks how irresponsible they are sometimes but I know they’re all trying to get through their lives the best way they can. 

I want to eat and go donate at biolife.

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