I need to calm down. In general. Thinking way too much. Looking back at the past too much. Feeling everyone else’s struggles and pain. 

I have a lot of good things to be glad about.

I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to see Armor For Sleep on Friday.. It just wouldn’t be financially smart for me to do. I’ve never been able to see them live… There isn’t a song by them I don’t like, I really wish they never broke up 😦

Ugh life is so disappointing sometimes. I for real need to calm down.

Tuesdays can always be my alone days because everyone goes to the masque and I’d rather not. Even though my friends perform and they’re hot as fuck lol.

I’m probably more and likely at least going to the 27th though because it’s a Halloween show and it’ll be cool. I would hope Caitlyn and her girl will stear clear so I don’t have to cry. But even if they do show up, I’ll just hide downstairs in the dressing room or stay close to someone.

Omg I was so tired this morning and Erica is SO loud lol. Her and Tia were cracking up over literally nothing and everything. That’s normal though. Erica is a crazy person, I’m happy I found a friend like her.

Tomorrow is gonna be crazy. Off work and I want to go donate first thing and then me and Erica have plans to take Tia to Cincinnati to her old friends where she used to live so she can get this necklace back that was her moms. Tia’s mom died 5 or 6 years ago,ugh I can never remember shit, on the 12th. We really want to get this necklace for Tia.

AND OH MY GOD. Tia has seriously never fucking seen her moms grave. I don’t know why. It’s in Tenesssee somewhere, some town that 3-4 hours from Nashville. We need to plan a trip to go. Erica wants to see a grave of someone she knows in KY too. One of these days we’re going to have a morbid roadtrip and go to these places.

Tia seriously needs to see her mom’s grave. Jesus. There have been times I’ve layed for HOURS at my moms grave. She’ll probably burst out crying but she needs to.

I always visit my mom when I visit New York. I still cry too! It’s always sad because it hits hard but it’s needed. I just saw jasmines for the first time when I visited NY for the weekend in April. It’s pretty close to my moms too so that’s nice.

Anyway after we get Tia’s necklace thing, Erica said it’s $1 beer night at some bar in Newport, KY so she wants us to go. I would love to get trashed honestly.

I can’t wait to get paid Friday so I can see how broke I am again.

Finally got the bill from the hospital when Caitlyn’s called the cops on me.. It was like $650 but for some reason, they took $400 off. Not sure why. It wasn’t my health insurance, that doesn’t pay for shit unless my bill is $5000. I’m happy it’s only $209 but I’m still pissed. Absolutely hate caitlyn. 

I can’t wait for the day I’m not angry and hurt anymore. It still hurts so much. Yeah. 

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