Just woke up from a nightmare.

Really not sure what happened or what it means.

I found Caitlyn’s wallet, and there was $66 in it so I took it out and kept it.

Something else was going on…

I eventually ran into myself. And my other self freaked the fuck out and it got reeeally weird.

Next thing I know, I’m laying in the position I’m sleeping on the couch and something is hovering over me. I can’t remember if it felt good or evil. You’d think it was evil but I don’t know if it was.

It was directly over me and staring at me and I was moaning (in a bad way lol) so loud that I was moaning in reality and it woke me up. It was probably for a good minute or 2 before I woke myself up.

It’s been a while since ive had a nightmare. I seriously never get nightmares. I was feeling pretty shitty last night being alone before Erica called. 

I need to get away from the past. Lately I’ve been feeling so ashamed of myself. It gives me anxiety and I feel horrible. I feel like I’m on the verge of putting myself into a panick attack.

Being around someone gets me away. I’m just so fucking scared of feeling like this. I feel like I’ve fucked shit up so bad. I’m such a fucking idiot. I’m a moron. And I don’t deserve and I’ll never attain peace, love, happiness, wholeness. I’m missing pieces of me.

I’ve only had like 2-3 hours of sleep and I could go back to sleep now but I don’t know. 

I’m at the misfits apartment because Erica called me at like 4am telling me Tia was probably drugged because she’s only had 1 and a half beers and she was slurring really bad and was tripping out.

I got here and Erica is probably sleeping in the other room and Tia was laying on the couch but she woke up and told me how this girl Ashley bought her like a steel covered beer and she’s a heavy drug user and she thinks maybe her drink had something in it. 

I don’t know but she’s still sleeping now so I hope she’s okay.

I don’t think I can go back to sleep. I’m freaked out.

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