i am really sick

i can’t deny it. i can’t. i have anxiety. i suffer from it. it’s real.

today. i tried to think maybe it’s high blood pressure. maybe i can just go to the hospital.

no. i never hear anything good about atrium.

biolife HAS to check my blood pressure and if it’s bad, i can’t donate.

it was slightly just below normal. it was perfectly okay.

i should be perfectly okay.

but i’m not.

When i donated, i got dizzy. i got nauseated. i got uneasy. uncomfortable.

i wasn’t pale. i wasn’t going to pass out.

i was anxious as fuck.

i have been so sad, and tense today.

i can’t be fixed. i can only ease myself.

i’m going to be sick for the rest of my life.

i have to live with this. and if anyone cares about me, they will have to too.

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