yesterday sucked. today sucked. bre winded up leaving earlier today. she was irritated. i made it worse. i apologized. we’re fine. but it sucked. i need to get tf over her for real.
i took my shift back from tia. angela said something tonight at work that boosted my self esteem a little. she said she finally understands where i was coming from about transgender being a trend thing. her boyfriend is a transman and he agrees with it too. angela was saying how everyone at the masque, they’re all transmen, there’s no studs. one trans person actually came back out as genderfluid.
i just know some or a certain trans guy on facebook that are constantly making posts that are nothing but attention seeking. some people want to be trans to make up for something traumatic that may have happened in their life. it’s not my place to judge anyone and i’m not. but it’s a potential thing.
it just made me glad for her to realize i really wasn’t trying to be an asshole. there’s straight people that aren’t really straight, there’s bisexuals that aren’t really bisexual, etc etc, it goes for every damn orientation and gender.
i don’t know how tia feels about it though and she’s the one that got HELLA mad at me. she got mad at everything i ever said though, she hated every breath i ever took.
i was bummed out earlier today and i hate remembering the shit she’s said to me. how she wished i would die and that i’m a piece of shit friend.
i really need to focus on other things.
something else i really love about fedex, is i feel the way i felt towards domino’s when i first started dominos. i just feel like fedex is something that keeps me occupied, and busy and it’s like my productive way to escape or move on from things. to get through life.
i really wonder if i could work my way up to be an operations manager. they make hella paper. i’m supposed to be off sundays and mondays but the lady asked me to come in today 5am-730am. only 2 and a half hours. i ain’t doing nothing else
i am a little worried about something though.. working 2nd shift at dominos and working overnight at fedex.. i won’t be seeing a lot of daylight. i’m worried i might get depressed. i should probably take vitamin d or something. i told candy just to make it easier on me that i didn’t want to open anymore but maybe i should take it back. i just really don’t want to do anymore close to opens. but fuck it.. i mean if she needs me , i’d rather work. sleep isn’t that lacking for me yet.
i need a shower and maybe a quick power nap.
i’m excited though i love fedex.