I should be tired, or sleeping. I’ve been so tired waking up the past two days. I guess the FedEx schedule has me messed up, I don’t know. But I’m actually off from FedEx tonight and it’s alright but my thoughts are pissing me off. I’m laying here trying to sleep but instead I’m thinking how I’m in some shitty alternate reality. I’m thinking of other paths or courses my life could have gone and I’m at a shitty end of them all. It’s fucking annoying and making me uneasy. 

Whatever I just took some NyQuil so I should be out soon. I’m sure it’s normal to fantasize about things we want to happen before we fall asleep but I feel like there’s a difference between things that could happen and won’t ever happen, and I wish I could be smart and draw that line but ugh I’m one hell of a pathetic human hah 

Sleep please come to me.

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