i’m fucking drinking. it’s been a fucking hot sexy minute.

i’m just drinking what’s left of my long island in the fridge.
i’m only drinking because i decided it would be okay since i am not working at all tomorrow or tonight, only going to a concert later 🙂 where the alcohol will be expensive af and then i have to wake up for work super early ha so noo drinking then


after living through balling my eyes out last night, dealing with all the suffering my mind and soul was undergoing, having a really shitty start to the afternoon today,

i am actually enlightened and awakened.

i still have lingering anger issues.


i feel like, i always have wondered, does a crazy person know they’re crazy?
they won’t, they can’t.

i think the first step is always acknowledging the fact itself that something is horribly wrong, or off.
usually it takes someone or something to break it to them.
i always break down when i’m alone.
i feel like i probably have a lot of issues.
but yet, at the same time , i can be so accountable and so stable.
i just need help, i need to help myself.
i can be okay. i want to be okay.
because i swear to god, even though everybody else gives up on me,
i will be that one person for myself who doesn’t give up on myself.
doesn’t change that it gets hella lonely … but…. it’s not like i’m the only petson in the world. once i get better, everything else will too.

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